Don't believe that marriage separation has to be the end; I made it and so can you.

Marriage separation is not an easy task. It puts a strain on your family, your job, and everyone you come in contact with. If your spouse wants a trial separation, or just wants’ separated, try to avoid it. Sometimes this will be possible, and other times not.

Our counselor suggested fairly early in our sessions that we need a marriage separation, stating my wife needed to work on herself. I was willing to do anything at that point, so I agreed. Hindsight being 2020 I think I would've tried something different. What was supposed to be six months turned into a year and a half.

There's no way to know what would've happened had we not separated. My wife might tell you different, she would probably say this had to happen. I'm not sure that I agree with that.

You’ll feel like running to somebody else- resist this temptation. Keep your focus positive; never stop believing your marriage can be rebuilt. This will be harder on some days than others; believe in the happy ending. A positive attitude is 98% of what it will take to get through it. Stay away from people or books that are not positive.

Things you should not do. Don't spy on your spouse; don't check their cell phone messages, give them there space. If you don't; they will run away even farther from you. I know you’ve heard, “if you love someone let them go.” These are words you must live by at this point in your relationship. You must not smother them.

If your spouse is talking about separation and divorce; choose separation. What they tell you today does not necessarily mean it will be true tomorrow. Time is not your enemy; it’s your friend. My wife's feelings changed almost weekly. Getting through those changes is the hard part; but you will get through them. Give them time and space; I cannot stress this enough.

If you squeeze too tight you will lose them. So as the song goes,

“hold on loosely but sometimes letting go is the only way.”