Are you a controlling boyfriend or husband?

Are you a controlling boyfriend or husband?
If so you better check your expiration date.

Controlling boyfriends and husbands really don't see themselves this way. They usually loved the person and would do nothing to harm them. It's because of this blindness that the pattern continues over and over again. The process will continue until the time comes when they can see themselves through their partner’s eyes.

We can love somebody so much we actually overwhelm them with our love. Unknowingly suffocating them to the point where they can't catch their breath. I know this because I've done it; taking my wife to the point she felt her only escape was divorce.

In my mind I was thinking the more I loved her, the more she would love me back. What I failed to see is that I have taken away her freedom to choose. She's a very strong willed person and would have none of this. And we know wars are fought over much less.

I was lying in bed last night, just thinking, and something came to me. My wife was like an animal that had been penned up its whole life. Spinning around in its cage waiting for the day when she could escape. We've all seen this before in our own lives, and when the door finally opens. The animal will bolt as fast as it can, usually only for a few hundred yards. And then it will stop, look back with a look of confusion.

You see the animal had no idea what it was going to do once it got out. All she cared about up until this point was getting away. And when it cleared the boundaries of its cage confusions quickly set in. It had no plans after its escape its only plan had been to get away. This is very similar to what happens when a spouse wants out. But now the animal will have to fend for itself, gather food, look for shelter, and find companionship.

It's ingrained in our human psyche to want what we don't have. Please don't ask me why, I have no idea. But we all know it's true, I'm sure nobody will disagree with me on this point. And once we are allowed to feel the freedom, the right to make a choice, we may choose to stay right where we are.

Controlling boyfriends or husbands never know they're trying to control.

If you are a controlling husband, this usually stems from your own insecurities. You're afraid that your spouse will not choose you, or find somebody better than you. This may be true in fact, but there's nothing you can do to control that. The only thing you can do to make somebody want to stay with you, is be the best you possible, that’s it.

If you find any of this similar to your own life, think about what I'm saying. When somebody feels that they want out of a relationship the only thing that you can do, is to let them go. It won't be until that point they can decide to come back. If you are the controlling husband or controlling boyfriend, your clock is ticking. Taking away anyone's right of choice, will eventually lose them every single time.

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The separation survival guide

Over the last few years I've been working on this website, trying to help people using my own history. What I've found is many people are either at the point of separation or just separated from their spouses. Separation Rules is one of the main pages people go to. So I decided to make a guide, something that will help you figure things out a little faster.

I wanted to make it very affordable so anybody who needed my help would be able to purchase it. The small purchase price of 20 dollars will help me keep the website up and running. I hope that you have benefited from my own personal journey. I think you will be even more satisfied with the separation survival guide.

Thank you again for helping out, sincerely your friend Ira

Are you a controlling boyfriend or husband? If so you better check your expiration date.

The separation survival guide

Are you a controlling boyfriend or husband?
If so you better check your expiration date.